


Five Times

by eravicis



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arachnophobia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Traumatic Themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-03-10 11:39:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13500998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eravicis/pseuds/eravicis
Summary: Five times they shared a moment. Five times they were only with each other. And five times they didn't need words when they were falling apart.





	1. The First Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a Tumblr prompt from somewhere I can't remember. **This is all angst and heartache so please don't take this lightly and brace yourself.** Updates will be posted as I progress. I will be balancing this along with the main series I'm currently working on. ~~I also don't know what tags to use~~ so read at your own discretion.
> 
>  _Voltron: Legendary Defender_ and all related characters and elements are the property, copyright, and trademark of Dreamworks, World Eventus Productions, Studio Mir, and no ownership or claim on said property, copyright, or trademark is made or implied by their use in the work(s) of fanfiction presented here. This fanfiction constitutes a personal comment on the aforesaid properties pursuant to the doctrines of fair use and fair comment. This fanfiction is non-commercial, not for sale or profit, and may not be sold or reproduced for commercial purposes.
> 
> In other words, I own nothing but the plot.

The first time it happened was because Keith had closed himself from the rest of the team. A mission had gone wrong and no one had an idea as to how to comfort the Red Paladin. After all, he had taken the brunt of the damage and emotional destruction from their mistake. Hard decisions were becoming a common thing and it was hardening each of the Paladins as they fought a war with no end in sight.

It's been four years since they had left to fight a war that involved them fighting on the front lines against the Galra Empire. Pidge stared at the door that Keith had just walked through moments ago. An explosive shout that was mangled with emotion made them speechless, unable to comfort him and it caused him to storm off. With the others separating off to their desired locations, hoping that Keith would get over it, she watched as Shiro disappeared down the hall after him.

And then without realizing what had happened, her feet had led her outside of the viewing deck of the castle where Shiro and Keith were conversing in a tone just barely loud enough for her to hear.

"Shiro, I can't handle this," Keith said, an admission that was hoarse and barely more than a spoken sound.

"I know, but we have to," Shiro responded in a comforting tone. "We're… fighting against something that will help everyone. If it's not us, then no one will stand a chance."

"I know, I know." His voice had fallen softer that she couldn't hear any more words exchanged. There was a quiet conversation she could hear but unable to make out the words. She leaned against the wall, sliding down to sit as she replayed the mission in her head. Closing her eyes, she brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

The mission had been simple enough: go in and rescue the planet's citizens from the Galra Empire. Their planet had been failing, dying, and the Galra weren't letting them leave. It made the rescue mission all the more important when the person who had requested the rescue was on board their Castle Ship and was watching the proceedings.

It should have been an easy mission.

But it had been a trap. By the time they got there, everyone had already been wiped out. Their heart lurched at the cruelty that the Empire was displaying and forced themselves to push through, to try and find any survivors, and was only met with a fleet of attacking Galra ships. The planet was unstable and they force-started the planet to begin its destruction and in an effort, they tried to get away. But they took heavy fire and briefly lost contact with the Castle that Pidge had to reconfigure their systems to re-establish their comms. Keith was giving her cover but while doing so, they had found survivors hiding nearby.

Anxious, Keith told Pidge he was going to save them and without waiting for her words of confirmation, flew off in Red.

It was as if the Galra knew where to fire next because just as he was close enough to save them, the next shot had hit their hiding place and it had exploded on contact. Pidge would never forget the yelling that came from Keith then, being the only one in range to hear his frustration. And everything after that, passed in a blur until both of them were in the castle and already changing out of their armor.

She heard Shiro's footsteps and lifted her head to see him walking out of the viewing deck. With a heavy heart, Shiro barely gave her a glance of a small reassuring smile before turning and walking back down the hall. Only when he was out of sight, she finally stood up and headed onto the viewing deck.

Keith was sitting down on the far side of the deck and was looking out to the sea of stars. Making her way over, she watched as his shoulders tensed and curl in on himself. She gulped, wondering what she should say, but she felt as hollow and hurt like Keith did that she wasn't sure she had the heart to even begin what she wanted to say.

"I don't want to talk anymore, Shiro, so please just leave—" He turned his head and stopped when his eyes connected with hers. "Pidge."

She gave a small awkward wave. "Hey."

His expression remained impassive and he turned back to the view of the stars. Taking that as his okay for her to sit down next to him, she did. It was obvious that he didn't want to talk anymore, but still needed the comfort of being with someone.

Just like she did.

The memory of those people's faces, looking so hopeful that they were about to be rescued, was engraved in her mind. Just before they died, they were already so thankful to them and it made this job, this battle, worth it. But, just like that, they were gone.

"I wonder when the end will come," she said suddenly. She felt Keith tense again but leaned closer to her until their arms were touching. It was comforting despite the fact she came because she wanted to do that for him. He didn't stop her from speaking so she continued, her eyes looking out at the stars. "We've been fighting them for four years and yet, we've only managed to get half of the universe freed. And then, the others just became…" Heavy words she didn't want to say because their losses were too great. They never talk about their losses before and having since bottled it up all these years was starting to get to her. It was reaching into her deepest parts of insecurities and clawing at the very box she had so carefully held together that was her sanity. For her missing father that she had yet to find. "... Do you think it'll finally end? Does it ever feel like we're truly making a difference? Even if it did, what are we gonna do after all of this?"

Keith didn't answer at first, the silence between them a heavy sensation that sagged their shoulders. "It'll end," Keith said, his voice quiet. "And with them gone, I'm sure the universe will be at peace because we did that. And afterward, we'll still be together… if anything else, we'll be together."

She rested her head on his shoulder and immediately, his arm came around her shoulders to pull her closer. Being comforted by his touch was more soothing than she had expected. Adjusting herself, she wrapped her arms around his torso and pressed her cheek against his chest. Closing her eyes, tears she didn't know she had finally begun to fall as she grieved for all of their losses, all of those sacrifices, and all of the people they have yet still to save. Even more, for the fragile hope, she had that she would find her father at all.

His arm tightened around her, squeezing her, and it felt as though he was trying to put her back together again.

They had previous moments where an embrace was a thing they did on occasion, whether it was for a celebration or for a mission that involved a long separation from the team. But this, this was intimate and heart mending that by the time she had finished crying, she realized Keith had been crying too. Pulling away just slightly so she could look up at him, her fingers gingerly touched his tear-stained cheek. Wiping away the tears, she moved to do the same on the other side with her other hand when she sat upright.

Keith shifted until she was between his legs and silently like she had been, watched when his hands lifted to wipe away her own tears with his thumbs.

Barely managing a smile that the both of them shared, they rested their foreheads against one another and closed their eyes. It was a silent thank you for the comfort they brought to one another. Because it was then that they knew they were going to be okay. Even if for a mere moment, they knew that they were going to be okay.


	2. The Second Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mission is followed by a nightmare.

The second time was when Pidge had gone off the radar and lost all communications with the team. She had been sent flying after a hit from a Galra ship that had her spiraling down to the planet that they were fighting near. With how much tech was floating nearby, it made it difficult for Green to connect with the Castle and the other Lions that Pidge was alone without the protection and cover of her team to try and reconvene with them.

They had crash landed down in a cavernous crater that could not be seen from the surface. Relieved that at least Green would have a hiding place, she knew she had to get out of her Lion to find a safe place to call in her friends to come and rescue her. As much as she hated the very idea of leaving Green behind, she knew she had no choice with how battered Green was. Wiggling the controls didn't wake the screens on board and she knew her connection with Green was weak that she'd be down for the next little while.

Pidge and Keith had been scoping out a Galra ship for information on their next moves and it was only when they were escaping that she was hit by the alerted Galra soldiers. Their mission should've been overlooked with the rest of the team outside of the ship distracting them while they were on board, but it didn't seem to be the case. They had been discovered that they were on board just moments after Pidge had gotten the information they needed.

With a grunt, she peered down to where she had been shot. She had been using her left hand to brace where the bleeding had started on her right side and when she pulled her hand away, her glove was covered in blood and inwardly winced. Pulling herself out of the seat, she began to strip out of the suit. It was a strenuous effort that she managed to get herself decently patched up before she put the suit back on. It wasn't the greatest cleanup work she had done, but with her strength waning, she had to reserve the rest of it for her trek out of the cave system to reach the surface to try and reconnect with her team.

She knew, out of everyone on the team, that Keith would be the most worried about her. After all, the last thing she heard before she was shot was him yelling her name. After their silent conversation that day where they had both grieved for the planet that they had failed to save, they had grown close. Keith was always there for her silent support and watched out for her when she failed to get the proper rest she needed, even though she often reminded him of the same.

Some nights, they just sat together in silence while she worked on her projects next to Green and other nights, they hung out with Lance and Hunk in the living space they shared for some games that they had managed to come up with for some relaxation. But the nights where they spent time together sparring just so they wouldn't let their mind wander in darker directions, was when she and Keith bonded the best.

While she would never be as good of a fighter as Keith was with his sword, she was learning to put up a fight with her angular katar. Even with hand-to-hand combat, Pidge was learning how to use her opponent's size against them and had even come out on top against Keith. It was the nights like those—when her mind couldn't concentrate on her work that even her tech couldn't distract her—that sparring to get herself as exhausted as possible had been the best way to go.

"Sorry, Green, but I'll be right back, okay?" Pidge said, running a hand along the paw. She could feel the faintest nudges of her concern in the back of her mind. "Don't worry—I'll be okay. I have my stealth, remember?" Still, the concern grew stronger. "They're gonna come for us, but I gotta show them the way first. I'm stronger than I look."

She could feel the skepticism, but she reluctantly agreed. Pidge gave Green another pat on the paw before she began the trek up to the surface.

It was exhausting to climb, but she got there. With a small smile, she could feel the tendrils of her mind bond with the rest of the team tickle the very far ends of her mind and knew they weren't far away. Still, that wouldn't be enough and she looked around the rocky and barren terrain of the planet to try and find a safe place to make a strong enough radio to reach them. She spotted a small cave several clicks away and headed over.

However, the closer she got to the cave, the more she realized that the planet she was on was covered with old tech that was hidden underneath dust and ash. As quickly as she could, she gathered the necessary materials until she eventually recreated a radio and radar large enough to connect with her team. But she underestimated the tech on the planet and was surprised to find that it was limiting the depth it could go.

It was as if time had stood still here and she had lost track of how long she had been out of contact. Even with her mind hazy as it was, Pidge surged forward. She needed to let her team know where she was.

Finally, a familiar red dot appeared on her radar and the comms in her helmet began to fuzzily call her name.

"—dge! Pidge! Can you hear me? Pidge, answer me! Please!"

"Keith?"

"Pidge! Oh, thank god, we thought we lost you," Keith breathed a sigh of relief. "Where are you? Allura said she couldn't use the Castle's scanners to find you. She said something was jamming them."

"I don't know, and I haven't found it yet," Pidge said, so relieved to hear another voice in what felt like forever. She quickly blinked back the tears she could feel forming. "But, I can't move too much, or I don't think I'll be much help."

"What? Why? Are you okay?" He sounded alarmed.

"I—I was shot earlier, Keith, and I don't think I can move too much without aggravating my wounds," she clarified. "So I need you to find me so we can find the source of the jamming before we leave. You should be able to pick me up on your scanners now."

"We need to get you back to the castle."

"No, Keith, we need this jamming tech if we want an advantage against the Galra. If it's jamming our scanners, then it's jamming the Galra's."

"And we can't have Hunk do it?"

"I want to do it. I'm here anyway and I already have an idea of where it is."

There was a long pause on the other end before he finally spoke again. "Fine, but when we find it, we're leaving and you're going straight into the healing pod when we get back, got it?"

She smiled, watching as the red dot came closer and closer to her location. "Yeah, got it."

He seemed satisfied with her answer that he appeared in less than five minutes later.

The rest of the "mission" goes as planned and they managed to find the frequency jammer that had been hidden on the planet for what seemed to be centuries. Using a radar that looked specifically for places that were hidden by the jammer, they had eventually found it buried underneath mounds of tech that Keith had to dig his way into it. With it over his shoulder, Keith stated that they would be finally making their way back to Red to get Green.

But somewhere along the way, Pidge had finally blacked out.

Flashes of voices and faces flickered into her vision. Keith was yelling at Pidge to stay with him and then Shiro was giving commands to move out of the way. Warmth wrapped around her then and she could feel the pain leaving her. When she woke up the next time, the healing pod had opened and she took one step out to see Keith waiting for her and collapsed against him.

Blearily, she smiled weakly up at him to reassure before she passed out again.

Unlike the time when she was in the healing pod where she didn't have any dreams, she had dreams this time. Dreams were something she often didn't have a problem with ignoring or not having them at all. After all, she forced herself to work to the point of exhaustion so that she wouldn't have them. Some of them were often bittersweet, but then, there were some that kept her awake at night. But there were some that left her screaming and crying that eventually drove her to the training deck or to the hold where Green was stored. Those were nights where she would want anything to distract her from the thoughts that plagued her mind.

Unfortunately, this was one of those nightmares.

She was back at the Galaxy Garrison, standing in front of it with Matt as he talked about his mission to space. It was then that he handed her his glasses, saying how he didn't need them anymore since they had fixed his eyes. Those glasses she had kept all these years had broken beyond repair that she had been without them for quite some time. She knew where she kept them and how they were safely stored in a neatly crafted box back in her room.

Those very same glasses in her hands were slowly changing shape and flew out of them to the ones that belonged to her father as it skidded and rolled to a stop on the floor. Broken, cracked, and very nearly destroyed was all she could see and some distance away, her father was lying flat on his back on the ground. He was dying and choking on his own blood that she just  _ knew_ that she had been seconds too late. Soon, he was surrounded by a pool of blood and all she could do was run to his body. She tried to resuscitate him but found her hands covered in dark crimson and no matter hard she had tried with what little supplies she had, she was unsuccessful in bringing him back as her father's lifeless eyes stared at the ceiling. Panic, hysteria, and denial of his death permeated her entire being. It couldn't be true, it couldn't! She was going to rescue him! She was going to save him!

She woke up to her arms flailing and grabbing at air when her wrists were grabbed by familiar leather covered ones.

"Pidge!"

The familiar voice stilled her and she turned her eyes to Keith. He was worried, so unbelievably worried that she could almost feel it rolling off of him in waves. His grip on her wrists tightened ever so slightly that he looked pleadingly at her for something she wasn't sure she understood. Sitting up with her wrists still gripped in Keith's hands, she looked around with frantic and wide eyes.

"Keith, where—"

"The infirmary," he answered calmly but was unable to completely hide his concern. "Are you alright? You were—"

"Keith, I was dreaming my dad had died, that I didn't save him in time—like when we didn't save those people from that planet—"

"Pidge." Keith looked pained.

"—Only, I found him but it was too late. He died and was—was—"

"Pidge, please."

"—dying and I couldn't save him. I didn't have the supplies and I couldn't save him—" She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. "—I was just seconds too late and he was just lying there before I got—"

" _Katie_."

"I tried applying pressure. All I could do was apply pressure when he was bleeding out—I messed up! I miscalculated where he'd be and I was too late! I—"

His lips smashed against hers that her voice was silenced. She was startled at first, but as his lips melded with hers, softening to gently console her, her panic began to subside. Instead, she closed her eyes and let the sensation of his lips soothe the frantic panic that came with a nightmare fade. When her lips parted, she was pleasantly surprised when his tongue had been daring enough to take a taste of her until she found herself quickly becoming short of breath.

And then he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers as his chest heaved ragged breaths and with his eyes closed. Opening her own, she found her hysteria had passed and that his kiss had grounded her.

"I—I'm sorry—I—I didn't know what to do," he stammered. Keith pulled away to look at her. "Please, you're not too late, Katie, you're not. We'll find your dad, okay? So please, I—I—we'll find your dad."

He looked so pained, so anguished that when she moved her hand to touch his cheek, he flinched and his hold on her wrists lessened. "Thanks, Keith... I'm okay now," she whispered. She was crying, relieved that it had only been a dream, and relieved that Keith had taken her out of the aftermath of the nightmare.

Keith sat down on the edge of the bed with a heavy sigh and released her wrists to wrap his arms around her shoulders to press her face against his chest. "I know, but it was only just a dream… It was just a dream, and even if it was just a dream, it still scared you..." he murmured into her ear. "It doesn't make the fear just go away."

Wrapping her arms around his torso to grab the back of his shirt, she buried her face against his chest and began to openly sob. Her chest ached at the thought of not being able to save her father, her chest ached at the thought that she wouldn't be able to find him at all, and it broke at the thought that even if she found him, it had been too late. With all of her heart, she wanted to find him because in the end, she was still just daddy's little girl and she missed her dad so much that it burned. It had been four years since she had seen him and not knowing where he was or how he was doing was killing her.

She didn't know how long she was crying for, but it was long enough that she eventually stopped and could only stifle sniffles. Pidge let herself relax, nuzzling against his chest, and became accustomed to it. He smelled of soap and his own scent that she couldn't help but feel comforted by. It was a scent she had begun to memorize as a feeling she hadn't had since she was down on Earth. With the crying having since subsided, Keith pulled away to peer down and help wipe her face dry with any tears. Again, like the last time, his hands cradled her face and the pads of his thumbs slowly wiped them away. His glimmering dark grey eyes looked for any other signs of distress.

"You okay, Pidge?" he asked after a moment, his voice soft and barely above a whisper.

She nodded, smiling tearfully without the tears. "Yeah."

He didn't speak for another few seconds before he gave a small smile in return, "Good. I was worried for a minute there."

A thought came to her just then. Was Keith watching over her this entire time? What's more, did he always have such a somber expression that seeing him smile suddenly felt like a rare occurrence? She couldn't remember the last time he smiled anymore and her chest ached, wondering how much Keith was bottling up inside of him. He's helped her plenty but she had done nothing to help him. The very thought had her heart drop and her smile waned. "Keith, I worry you a lot, don't I?"

He grimaced and he averted his gaze. "I—I wouldn't say that."

Frowning and perhaps even heartbroken that she might have been one of the causes of his serious expressions, she tilted her head and shifted to try to get into his line of sight. Doing so had him pulling his hands away from her. "Well, how about I give you a reason not to?"

His eyes snapped back to her. "And how are you going to—"

Without thinking, Pidge grasped his shirt and yanked him to her so that her lips were slammed against his. Having caught him off-guard, she took their previous kiss into account to try to steal a taste of him this time around and was immediately awarded a groan. His hands took hold of her waist to pull her to him. Unlike the last kiss where Keith had only kissed her to get her out of the hysteria, this time, she needed to reassure  _him_ that she was fine: both mentally and physically. Her heart hurt with burdening Keith and it felt as though there was something deeper she needed to be filled.

And then the kiss became heated. It was as if Keith was trying to devour her that their kisses intensified and she found herself on his lap with her arms wrapped around his neck. He became rougher, more aggressive, and hungry that it was as though he needed some kind of affirmation. Keith continued his relentless kissing without pause when he flipped her over on her back, pressed himself against her, and hummed his approval when her back arched to press her chest against him with a gasp.

Then, like a spell being broken, Keith stiffened and raised himself on his elbows. He dropped his head on her chest, sighing despite the quick rise and fall of her chest. He groaned, his voice slightly muffled against the fabric of her shirt, "Pidge, I don't think that's a reason for me not to worry about you."

She was dizzy from his onslaught of kisses that she didn't say anything for a few minutes. Trying to get a sense of calm after such a needy exchange, it was enough to reassure even herself that she was okay. It had been enough that she bit back another wave of tears. "That just means I'm okay," she whispered hoarsely, looking down at him. She wrapped her arms around his head to drape her hands down his back.

His head lifted and there was the faintest trace of concern knitting his brows. While he didn't say anything, she noted how his arms wrapped around her and how he buried his face against the crook of her neck. In a tight hug, she held him close and give him a squeeze that he returned in full.  _They were okay_ , she thought. _They were going to be okay_.

But, Pidge felt then that something had changed in their relationship and she wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing. Despite the ache in her chest, she knew then that she was glad that she had Keith. Having him beside her, for him to be with her through all of this, was something she knew would be irreplaceable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks [narycanary](http://archiveofourown.org/users/narycanary) for beta'ing this for me and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did. c:


	3. Third Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Absentmindedly, she reacts before she knows it's happening.

The third time he kissed her was an afterthought. Pidge knew that after those kisses in the infirmary that something had shifted in their relationship, but she hadn't overthought about it. After all, they had focused primarily on their given missions that came as quickly as she could breathe. With the Galra forces dwindling over time with each successful mission on their end, the more desperate the Galra became between each fight. It became increasingly difficult to get a clear and resounding victory.

She began to lose count of how many close calls she had.

Or rather, how many close calls had she and her friends suffered that it was enough to make this war more real, more terrifying with each progressing day. Her heart lurched whenever she saw one of her friends hit by a Galra ship, but the calm level-headedness that came with years of experience in fighting in the wars had left her disconnected at times when they focused on their part of the missions. In the heat of the moment, it was always prioritizing what commands were given to her by Shiro and listening to everyone's responses to them. Relaying information back to the Castle and the rest of the team to make sure everyone was in the loop was a constant and she had to make sure to keep updating, or the entire mission could fall apart.

Nowadays, it seemed that with the skill and flexibility of combat style of both Keith's and Pidge's had them paired as partners more often than not. Especially since most of their missions would constitute stealth and it was before they resorted to an all-out fight between them and the Galra. While Pidge gathered the necessary data and hacking capabilities to break into their systems for aid for the rest of the team, Keith had the Galra bloodline coursing through his veins that could have them enter specific areas of each ship as well the stealth and maneuverability with Pidge through such places without getting caught.

With Pidge as his partner, he seemed to act calmer and less reckless as people thought him to have at times. He was careful, protective, and fought harder to protect the youngest member of the Voltron Forces. Pidge knew that he was doing it because he cared for her fiercely, just like he did the rest of the team and didn't think that it was anything more than just the feeling of family.

And it replayed the kiss back in the infirmary before she shrugged it off as a moment of weakness.

"Pidge, Keith; we need to get into the Galra battleship and see if you can take down their shields," Shiro commanded, his face appearing on a screen inside the cockpit of Green.

She knew Keith would already be moving even as his face appeared on the screen beside Shiro.

"Got it," they replied in unison before they flew off. After landing discreetly on the ship, they disembarked. Making sure that their lions were hidden, they began to scope out the layout of the ship.

It wasn't long before they snuck their way through the ship with a familiarity that they began to memorize. How many of these ships did she and Keith board, to hack their systems and lower their shields? How many computers had she plugged into and how many people had they genuinely killed in their endeavors to save the universe from the tyrannical rule of the Galra Empire? And how many more did they have to fight before there would finally be peace?

"Pidge, you alright?"

She blinked, turning her attention from her computer screen to the Red Paladin that crouched beside her. He had placed a steady hand on her shoulder, and there was a concern in his voice. Even his expression showed the depths of the worry that she nodded, and she did not dare to hope or think about what those intense eyes thought of her.

They were in the middle of the mission, and she was losing focus.

"I'm fine," she replied with a calmness in her tone that hid her inner conflict.

Keith watched her for a moment before he responded in kind with a nod of his own. If he saw something different about her demeanor, he didn't say anything. "Alright—I'll leave you to it." He got up and held his Bayard at the ready for when the Galra would enter the security maintenance room.

Left alone again at the computers, she shook her head and her mental shackles off, focusing on the task at hand with an efficiency that would make even Matt's head spin. "The systems down in three… two… one, go!" She pressed the enter key on cue and scarcely a second later, the entire ship shook.

She barely turned before Keith was beside her once more. "Time to go," he said both to the comms and to her that their eyes connected long enough for him to flash a smile. She understood, after all this time of working with Keith, that it was his silent way of saying a job well done.

And just like that, the heavy heart that sat heavily in her chest lifted ever so slightly.

They were running through the corridors when another blast made them lose their footing, and they went sliding down a hall in surprise. Keith rotated himself to wrap his arm around her waist when she turned and faced the corridor they just in to shoot out her grapple. Latching onto the desired target, they jerked to a halt from their free fall with a pained grunt from the both of them.

Without a word, she pulled them back to the hall just as another command came their way.

"Where are you, Keith? Pidge? We need you out here!" Hunk anxiously shouted. "Shiro's shot down, and we don't know where he went!"

She heard Keith swearing next to her as she pulled up her computer and began to run.

"Hold your positions until we get out there!" Keith commanded. "Where'd you see him last?"

"He fell just over the ridge by the ship," Lance promptly answered. "It looked like he crash-landed in the ship."

Pidge immediately adjusted her computer to look for Shiro's tracker and invaders aboard this ship. "The Galra have identified the Black Lion is aboard their ship, so we see him." She could feel Keith stand beside her. "We can go and provide backup, or we can head back to our Lions. The only problem is that Shiro is on the other side of the ship. "

"You go back to Green, and I'll go provide backup for Shiro," Keith volunteered.

"No, it's too dangerous," Allura cut in.

"We need Shiro, or else we can't even form Voltron when we get out there." His tone was terse, and Pidge glanced up to note the narrowing of his eyes. "So I'm going to provide backup for Shiro, and he'll take me to Red when he's clear. Pidge can handle covering Red until then."

Her hand darted out to grasp his arm when he was moving forward.

Keith turned to face her, eyes wide before there was something painfully soft about them.

"Oh, sorry, uhm, go, I'll cover you," Pidge hastily said, dropping her hand as she put away the computer and shifted to glance down the corridor to their immediate left.

"Katie," he whispered, and she knew he wasn't speaking into the headset.

She closed her eyes, clenched then tight before reopening them. "I got you, Keith," she said. Turning her head, she gave a confident grin. "Don't worry about me."

There was a pause, a flicker of an emotion blew over those eyes of his before he nodded. "Got it. And I'm on my way."

And just like that, he was gone.

Pidge inhaled and slowly exhaled before she continued with the mission. After all, this was what she was supposed to do. The expression Keith made aside, she needed to focus.

But why did he look like that? Why did he look at her like that?

She clenched and unclenched her grip on the Bayard while she was running around the Galra ship in practiced precision.

It was perhaps another fifteen excruciating minutes later; onboard Green did she begin to try and check in with Keith and Shiro.

"Keith! Shiro! Where are you? We can't hold them off for much longer!" Pidge exclaimed into the comms, wanting a response back in return when not a single word was heard since their last orders when Keith went to help Shiro.

There was nothing but static on the other end for another moment before Shiro's voice came with a resounding relief.

"We're in the clear! Pidge, I'm coming over to you to drop Keith off and then, let's finish this!"

And just like that, the mission was over.

Disembarking from their Lions and already sharing talks of ways to relax after such a harrowing mission, soon, it left just Pidge and Keith.

Her hand clenched tightly on her arm and decided that she didn't want to talk about what happened aboard the Galra ship. She couldn't fall to her weaknesses where this war didn't have room. She was a Paladin of Voltron, and she wasn't a teenager anymore. It was something she had cast aside the moment she embarked on what was once a journey in finding her brother to protecting the universe.

Pidge took a few steps forward and was promptly yanked back into a chest she had become accustomed to in sparring. But, not while he wore his Paladin gear—not after a mission that they had just finished.

"Pidge."

Her eyes burned, but she didn't cry. She wasn't going to.

Keith's arms wrapped around her shoulders.

When did Keith get so much bigger than her? When did Keith become so strong? And when did he seem as though he was ready for something that she didn't feel as though she was prepared for it?

"We did it."

And then, there was the softest brush of his lips against her temple, their helmets have frequently taken off after each mission.

That might've been all she needed because her concerns dissipated and she turned around to embrace the Red Paladin in relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, thank you [Nary](http://narycanary.tumblr.com/)~! Thank you for reading and I'll see you guys next time!


	4. The Fourth Embrace

The fourth time was when she lost Keith.

Pidge was starting to become numb to the entirety of the battles they have fought in. Even if it wasn't the Galra, there was another that would appear to try and usurp the power that came from the vacuum of power. The emptiness of power that was attempted by those that was once in Zarkon's command, the very people he commanded with sheer fear rather than the respect and pride that Hunk had learned from his time with the governess of Lotor.

This time, with the Galra gone, another had taken its place.

Another older and ancient race that exceeded perhaps even that of Zarkon and the legion of the Galra Empire. Their forces were just as mighty, their fighting prowess lethal, and their strength was overwhelming. They were unlike the Galra and used abilities that no one had ever seen before.

After all, the universe was millions and millions of years old, and the inner intellectual in her understood that the entire universe was only as big as she knew it could be.

The task was to find out more information of this force that was consuming the universe as they knew it. More terrifying than the Galra Empire, this destructive force was taking life wherever it touched. Like a plague, it continued to eat and devour worlds and planets as though it was a mere appetizer without any consideration to the life that resided there.

They took life without the thought of its repercussions.

But what was once a mission that would give them more information on the enigmatic force of death, turned deadly when they knew they were coming. Even for Voltron, who was the defender of the universe, struggled against such a power that they needed to find out who and what they are. Maybe even a weakness,  _ anything _ , if it meant that they would gain some footing to be level with them.

Once more, they were the universe's last hope if they stood a chance of survival.

"Alright, everyone ready?" Keith spoke into the comms.

"Ready," Lance, Pidge, Hunk, and Allura responded.

They had to leave behind their ship for the sake of a more covert mission. It was a gamble, but they just needed  _ something _ for Voltron to look over if they wanted to understand the new enemy's motives. Their lions flew in low and quick, silently approaching the seemingly silent base that was on the outskirts of the perimeter of their dominion.

"Pidge?"

"There's nothing on my sensors," Pidge replied, using her systems on her Lion to check the interior of the strange and foreboding space station of black spires and low glowing red lights. "It's strange… it's almost as if it's deserted."

"There's no way they would leave this place unguarded," Allura remarked apprehensively. "It looks well maintained."

"Yeah, why would they would they make a base out here if they have no intentions of coming back?" Hunk commented.

"I don't like this," Lance said warily. "Something feels wrong."

"I don't like this either, but we have no choice." Keith sounded frustrated. "As much as I want to say that we can find another way to find more information about the enemy, we can't. We've already tried—this is our only option left, and we've been watching this station for weeks."

"And there's been no activity…" Lance sighed. "I know, I know."

"None of us like this," Allura said soothingly. "But, let's just get this over with."

"Let's go." Keith led Black into the station, and the other Lions shot off in different directions in pairs. "Pidge, with me."

Old habits die hard, and the pair went into the station with unease.

But, thanks to Shiro's and Coran's relentless observations and watches on the station, there were no guards posted as they had reported. Readying their Bayards, they entered the station. Cosmo followed closely by Keith's heel.

"Keith and Pidge, in," Pidge reported.

"Hunk and Lance, in," Hunk reported just shortly after.

"Allura?" Lance called.

"Here, I just entered," she responded. "We're only in a few moments, and it already feels as though Coran's and Shiro's reports are right—this place is deserted."

"Either way, keep your guard up and the comms open," Keith commanded. He clipped the Bayard to his hip and Pidge followed after.

"Roger."

Silence fell as they began to investigate the eerily quiet station.

Through each empty and darkened corridor they went through, Pidge could feel the sweat perspiring. The silence was deafening, and the tension was so thick that she could cut it with her Bayard. The corridors were misshapen, sharp, and from what she had only seen in her books, stylized like a cave with jagged edges that bordered on gothic. Where the Galra had a dim accent lighting of violet, this place had black walls, ceilings, and floors that the only light there was the thin strip of dark blue along where the floor and wall met.

At one point, Cosmo bumped reassuringly into Pidge's leg. With a quiet sigh, scratched behind his ear in appreciation. She hadn't realized how tense she was becoming.

If it weren't for their helmets, Pidge knew that she would be smelling something bordering on humidity mixed with the sharp cold of what this darkness had.

"Man, this place is  _ creepy _ ," Lance said aloud, startling Pidge from her thoughts.

"Lance," Hunk admonished. "You scared me." He sighed.

"Sorry, but even the Galra wasn't this—this—"

"Dark," Pidge finished for him. "It's like those horror movies we used to watch back at the Garrison, only, this isn't a horror movie—this is real life."

"Horror movie?" Allura piped in. "What are those?"

"Guys, focus," Keith interjected. "We can talk later when we're safe and out of here."

There was an uneasy silence that followed as they silently obeyed Keith's command.

Pidge had lost count of how many halls they had gone through, looking for any room that would allow them to find any terminal that would give Pidge access to their network. It took another ten minutes before Allura spoke up.

"Guys, I found something."

"We're on our way," Keith responded. He turned to Pidge, and they exchanged a grim glance. Heading to Allura's location, they entered a room that looked oval, like an egg, with an eerie low dim green light along the floors and the systems ahead of them.

Pidge made her way over and pulled out her laptop. Unlike the Galra, where Keith would've aided in using his genes to give them access, this empire had no such thing. So she had to give it a try herself. Only, she paused for a moment before she realized what she was staring at on the screen.

"Guys," Pidge called to their attention when they all had wandered off to investigate the room. She turned to face them. "We're in the middle of a spider web."

The entirety of the screen zoomed out to show the strange networked corridors that all led and pointed to where they stood.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hunk asked, even though she could see the look in his eyes that said something else.

She turned away before she could understand it and bravely plugged in the little computer she had brought with her. A strange and foreign text popped up on screen and using whatever Altean tech she had to decipher the language, she sighed in aggravation. "The language isn't known to the Alteans so we might take a while to figure this out."

And then a massive boom echoed throughout the halls that it reverberated to where they stood. It was enough that they felt it through through their boots. They all snapped their heads to the only open door that led out to the web of halls. Cosmo growled and readied for a fight.

"What was that?" Lance readied his Bayard.

"Not good, whatever it is," Allura tightly gripped her own, "it's big, and it sounds like it's coming for us."

"Lance, stay here and give Pidge backup. Hunk, Allura, and I will go and see if we can find out whatever made that noise." Keith looked resolutely toward the dark shadows.

Pidge tensed.

Again, that feeling, one she hadn't felt since her time back on the Galra ship when they had to rescue Shiro, came back. Viciously lashing through her like a sharp dagger at her stomach and chest, she stilled and slowly turned to where Keith stood.

"Keith—"

"Is that understood?" he asked.

Everyone but Pidge responded. When Keith turned to face Pidge and ask if she had heard his command, she couldn't stop the shaking of her hands. Something worse was going to happen, and she couldn't prevent the feeling from overwhelming her.

"Pidge?" Keith called softly.

Another boom echoed in the halls outside of their terminal room.

She clenched her fist, resolving herself to fight off the feeling. Instead, she said, lifting her gaze from her computer to look with worry and a silent request. "Please, come back safe."

There was a flash of a crooked smile and the nod. "I will. We will." And then his smile was gone just like he was.

Pidge wished that her gut feeling wasn't right.

"Pidge, what was that?" Lance softly asked while she typed algorithm after algorithm in an attempt to hack this terminal.

"I—I don't know what you're talking about."

"Look," Lance started, positioning himself just by the door, "I know something's changed between you and Keith—you guys have something different from anything I've seen before. But what just happened? Just now? That wasn't just asking for him to come back—that was a promise for him to return to you."

Pidge didn't reply. Trying to focus on the task at hand, she couldn't ignore that day when Keith had kissed her to distract her from her hysterical fear of never finding her father. She couldn't ignore or forget the reassurance he gave her after the mission where Shiro had briefly disappeared.

She couldn't.

But they never did anything more beyond those moments where they just needed each other. The words that they both felt they could not convey, they conveyed it through their body language. A silent way of holding each other close so that they wouldn't break. And from that, her love from him was born and had only grown since then.

She closed her eyes and reopened them. Aware that the conversation was spoken into their comms, she didn't want this to be the way for her to convey her feelings to Keith. It was too public, too wrong of a place, and a terrible way of saying something that was only positive. She wanted to see the smile on his face and the way he would laugh in embarrassment in a place where they were both safe.

Pidge took a deep breath. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Pidge, how long?"

"This isn't the time for it."

"It's damn right the best time for it," Lance snapped. "Pidge, we're at the near end of the universe, and we're fighting in a losing war. You honestly don't think that this is a good time for you and Keith to confess if you love each other? You too, Keith! You and Pidge both! I know you can hear me. At any moment, we could all go down, and we might die, and you'll end up with regrets."

And then, there was only silence.

Immediately right after, alarms rang throughout the quiet station as red lights blared. A voice spoke through its intercoms, indiscernible, and Pidge's screen lit up with a mass of red dots that told her of enemies. They were converging on both her and Lance's positions and where the others were.

Lance began to fire at the incoming enemies, and Pidge tried to accelerate her work and was typing as fast as she could. As her fingers flew over the keyboard, she could hear Lance beginning to fire his Bayard at a rapidly increasing rate that she knew she needed this data now. Trying to ignore the background noise as she focused on the program, she was breathless when her computer program managed to copy the entirety of their terminal with no difficulty.

To hell with its foreign language!

"Pidge!"

"Got it!"

"Good, now some backup down here would be appreciated!" Hunk shouted into the comms.

Lance managed to clear a path with the Altean longsword when he needed to go faster, words she could hear him faintly saying through their mental connection as paladins.

_ Faster, we need to go  _ faster _ , _ were the thoughts he exuded.  _ We have to hurry! _

No.

Lance couldn't have the same gut feeling like she was having, could he?

_ It couldn't be _ .

"We're on our way!" Pidge could barely respond as they began to beat their way through the horde of enemies that they could only vaguely see in the dark corridors. She didn't think and solely focused on taking enemy after enemy down. Enemies she had never seen beyond the shadows, she had a vague idea of what they looked like but didn't dare to have her thoughts linger.

But she knew they were a nightmare come true.

They fought their way up to where the four of them were, Pidge monitoring them to notice that they were trying to make their escape. They managed to get to the hangar, or what looked like one, and the three of them were back-to-back. Cosmo took down the shadows in his jaws and continued to aid them the best he could. They were shouting something, words she couldn't hear with widening eyes, as they tried to fight off the sprawling mass of darkness that surrounded them.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep and ragged breath to focus, she looked through her Lion's eyes and began to fire on the Station. It was enough of a distraction that a good portion of the strange blackness to part from fighting their friends. The station shook that Pidge came back from fighting as her Lion and jumped down to the platform that their friends stood on.

She noticed after a moment that all of her friends were speaking, but none of their words was being heard. Judging from the looks on their faces, they realized the same thing. While relieved that they were no longer separated, they were without any way to communicate.

The same boom that had reverberated throughout the station came terrifyingly close, and they shot their gazes to a figure that was stood haunched forward on several legs.

But what scared her was the disturbing cracking noises that came from its body as it began to stand upright. Taller than Shiro, taller than Zarkon, Pidge realized that this lanky figure of a  _ thing _ was more towering than anything they had ever seen before. There was no face, no discerning of their arms or legs—only shadows aside from the subtle shape of a what might be ahead.

It jumped over the railing and landed in front of them, scaring the rest of the shadows away.

"Will you continue to sin and fight against us or will you join us and cleanse yourselves of your impurities?" it asked in a distorted voice that sounded like many overlayed on top of one another.

For the briefest of moments, Pidge was able to hear Keith and Allura speak into their comms, and in turn, for the enemy to listen to them.

"No, we won't join you and we never will," Keith stated. "You destroy worlds without consideration to any of the life on any of them."

"You are a monster for doing what you do," Allura managed to say. "You are even worse than the Galra."

"Then you shall die."

It lunged at them — its long arms appearing and reaching out with its shadowy and spidery fingers and trapping them in its grasp. Lance fired his Bayard and Keith tried to cut himself free.

Pidge rolled out of the way, losing focus on the rest of her team as she tried to dodge its growing number of arms that appeared from its back. With each attempt to try and hit them with its sharp and pointed end, it dug through the surface of their station like it was butter. She could barely register the sounds of Keith and Allura parrying with their weapons that made her relieved to hear that the Altean technology could withstand this creature's attacks.

Thanks to her consistent training alongside the other paladins, she was able to parry some of the blows that would've been too close. With narrowed eyes, she smashed her bayard into one of its many arms when Lance had managed to land a hard enough hit that it made a grotesque sound mixed with the deep screams of a creature that was bigger than this one appeared. Deep, wheezy, and disconcerting with how it screeched, Pidge winced.

Another howl of pain and its arms lashed out, twirling around them that it smashed against all of the paladins and Cosmo to slam them into the nearest wall. Pidge slid to the ground with a groan, her arms, and legs shaky from the amount of dodging and parrying she had been doing for the last few minutes. Trying to push herself up on her arms, they gave out before she could, and all she could do was shift her head to look at where the enemy was.

Again, her eyes grew wide when it slowly approached  _ her _ .

There was a garble of noise in her ears, but she couldn't hear it.

This shadowy figured loomed close to her, and spider-like arms appeared once more from its back and aimed it at her.

And then it roared out in pain and turned to Keith, barely standing and with a Marmora blade wedged into its back. It shifted from its more substantial form and back into its smaller form that it slid out of it and dropped to the ground. With narrowed eyes that irises that dilated to slits, Pidge could barely speak to try to get Keith to stop and to run.

His sclera bled yellow as he dashed toward it, sliding on the ground around the creature to pick up the fallen dagger and swing at the beast again in light of purple.

Standing between her and the creature, she could make out his words.

"Leave her alone!"

Tears burned her eyes, helplessly watching as he fought the creature with all of his power, and watching as his body became slowly more beat up as time progressed. Every time he dodged one, he'd be hit by another arm in a relentless stream of attacks.

It only lasted a few moments too long before the creature had a successful opening.

With a sickening crunch, she screamed with tears rolling down her cheeks when she watched one of its arms plunge deep into Keith's abdomen.

He instantly dropped to the ground, unresponsive and everything that happened after that was a blur.

Hunk and Lance had managed to sneak in their attacks while the creature was distracted by Keith and with Allura's aid, came out—just barely—victorious.

But was it a victory when their leader was down?

The dark mass had faded and left only them in the hangar. Pidge could remember Allura shouting that they needed to get back to the ship, back to where they could treat him immediately upon arriving there. All she remembered was clutching Keith's body to her, in her arms, sobbing as her tears fell on his pale face.

"Please wake up," she sobbed while she bowed her head close to him. "Please, you promised. You promised you'd come back to me. Please, Keith,  _ please _ ."

With what immediate aid they could give Keith what supplies they had, they began to make their way back. In the cargo of the Black Lion, Pidge stayed beside him while he rested in the healing pod that they had managed to take with them.

He was dying.

Only, her screams became silent when they underwent another attack, and she needed to be in Green to fight back.  _ Somehow _ , they had lost their grip on the Black Lion, and they were floating away from them. Just in time for the enemy ship to fire upon it and it exploded in a flash of light, and he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


End file.
